A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says...

If you don't get this one, or if you don't have logicians as friends (count that as a blessing!), here's help (sort of):

http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=3451

Some of the stuff here are also found in this link below:

http://higherperspectives.com/jokes-for-intellectuals/
 
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The funnies below are not "walk into a bar" ones...

And, finally...

That's what it says! (Part 2)

Get out of the way... don't get trampled!

Be very patient here!

Hmm... what happens if one gets onto the lower road?

So... that makes it harder to catch them?

This is from a local furniture store's ad... are falling prices good, or are they a danger sign? Quick, run?

!! Watch your head !! ?

Caught in a time warp?

If you had survived that stabbing, tell all... and win vouchers!

Finally... a grim reminder that friendly fire isn't!

That's what it says!

Someone posted this on Facebook:

Comments were invited. This is what I suggested:

Judge: Case dismissed. While the evidence stands, there is not a shred of tissue to enable the issue to become materially apparent.

Someone else posted this other story:

In Buzzfeed's opinion, this was the most pun-tastic headline of 2014:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/perpetua/amazing-chris-rock-headline#.ooqMeVEm9e

These other stuff below are not newspaper-related:

Photo: Nick

Fun with dangling modifiers.

Even with one eye still blurry, I spotted one:

ST, Aug 19

So what is a dangling (or misplaced) modifier?

A common form of the dangling modifier is the dangling participle. So, what is a participle and how may it "dangle"?

Okay, let's have fun with some dangling modifiers/participles!

There are more, compiled in this link:

http://www.eddiesnipes.com/2011/07/funny-dangling-and-misplaced-modifiers/

No bull here, cows explain it all!

It is an old joke, but the Two Cows format (and spin-offs) has enjoyed a revival. Here's one list:

Cows, Geopolitics and Big Business

http://www.extremelysmart.com/humor/cowsexplain.php

There is even one item about Singapore's democracy:

Singaporean Democracy: You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.
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This one below has been reposted on Facebook multiple times:

Two cows explain economics...

http://www.boredpanda.com/corporation-economies-explained-cows-ecownomics/

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And finally, Singapore's own mrbrown gave us his own "cow peh, cow boo" rendition (don't forget to watch the remix!):

You have two cows: mrbrown's Asian Edition

http://www.mrbrown.com/blog/2015/08/you-have-two-cows-mrbrowns-asian-edition.html

SG50 and the Durex ad.

How many young Singaporean couples took advantage of the long SG50 holiday break to party till late? Too tired by then, perhaps. How many chose to stay at home and snuggle up instead? How many patriotically "stood up" for baby-deficient Singapore?

Durex must have wondered. It came up with a brilliant "apology letter" ad which it put up in local newspapers:

Durex has been in the forefront of creative ads, notes Business Insider:

We're sorry our products are so good: Why Durex emerges as the King of Advertising

http://www.businessinsider.in/Were-sorry-our-products-are-so-good-Why-Durex-emerges-as-the-King-of-Advertising/articleshow/48452640.cms

But Durex has also bungled. It had to issue a real apology to the Thais last year:

Durex says sorry for Thai Facebook ad that suggests some women who resist eventually give in

http://www.mumbrella.asia/2014/09/durex-thailand-says-sorry-ad-suggests-28-per-cent-women-resist-eventually-consent/

So there's the rub(ber). Get it right, and it lubricates the public's sense of humour. In pushing the point, just don't touch any sensitive or sore nerve. Safe sex, and safe ad!

Happy golden jubilee, Singapore!

The entire country is in a celebratory mood. I put this post up on Facebook early in the morning with the caption:

ONE score. And 50 years ago!

Then it was off to church, with a very meaningful sermon delivered by Bishop Robert Solomon. He reminded us that Christians have two "citizenships" -- our Heavenly one and our secular one. I like both the worship service's cover and the Unison Prayer:

Food for the soul. Next up, food for the belly at the nearby Johor Road Boon Kee Pork Porridge in Veerasamy Road:

Back home, and it was time to check out the National Day Parade funpack that every household received regardless of whether one was going to the event. I liked these two items best:

The parade itself was very well choreographed although the newsreader later during the 9.30pm TV news did not realise she had made a blooper when she said it was an occasion "full of song and dance"! Pity that the crowd's favourite Red Lions parachuting team had to scrub their item due to unfavourable weather. The aerial displays were fantastic and the mobile columns were awesome. Nick took these pics of some of the war machines earlier in the week (thanks, mate!)...

Who says Leopards can't change their spots? This Leopard got out of its spot in a jiffy to join the mobile column parade. It was very mobile!  

The Black Knights' F-16Cs were beautifully liveried:

Our own transport "machine" was suitably dressed up too. But it stayed on the spot the whole day:

Finally, the Merlion must have partied too hard and needed help from Singa the courtesy lion: