Coo(l), Britannia, coo...

Yup, that (ie the header above) was the headline I wrote for a New York Times story -- marvelling at the way the Brits (and Yanks too) seem so besotted with the birth of the Little Prince -- we had planned to use in Wednesday's ST Opinion pages. But we had to drop it due to pressure on space, So, alas, my "witty" effort never saw the light of day.

I had felt pretty smug about the clever header I used in yesterday's blog entry... "Baby gaga". Then I discovered that there is actually an ice-cream with that name. One of its ingredients is human breast milk!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1360225/Shop-sells-breast-milk-ice-cream-London-restaurant-Icecreamists-Baby-Gaga.html

I -- who had enjoyed Sex on the Beach (see earlier blog entry) -- was nevertheless udderly flabbergasted!

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Some British newspapers heralded the newly-minted Royal with Brit humour, although most went with "It's a Boy!":

Regal has landed, said one cheekier newspaper (which also changed its masthead for a day to "The Son").

The Twitter of Tiny Feet, said another, noting that the announcement also went online, including on Twitter.

The UK edition of the Huffington Post carried these "news items" on its comedy section:

The caption above says "A hospital where a baby was born".

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Finally...

Waiter, there's a Minion in my coffee!

Baby gaga...

The name of the game is baby watching, but I guess the baby would have arrived by the time most people who read my blog would have done so.

The world's media have of course gone gaga on reporting the news that Kate had gone into labour. The media had also been digging out some trivia bits...

Royal baby watch: 10 things to know

http://www.kmov.com/news/mobile/Royal-baby-watch-Plans-for-massive-celebration-released--216427471.html

Britain's royal baby: 10 strange facts

http://news.insing.com/tabloid/britains-royal-baby-10-strange-facts/id-22783f00

Meanwhile, someone had (earlier) sent me this series of self-explanatory -- and, I suppose, amazing -- royal photos:

You will, of course, need to be familiar with the names of all the US Presidents in the pictures, from Obama to Truman (in descending order).

$earching for paradise on earth... must have view also!

Singapore, it is said, has the most number of millionaires per capita. For example, there was this Wall Street Journal story last year:

But even the millionaires will queue up for hours on end to buy McDonald's Hello Kitty toys and currently, the Minions' toys. The millionaires also love to go "showflat/showhouse" viewing. They love it when told there's super-high ceiling thrown in. Very classy (never mind if this gives a new twist to that eternal question: "How many goondus does it take to change the light-bulb?"). They also love the surfeit of top-to-floor glass panes (never mind that we have equatorial temperatures, which makes the dwelling literally a hothouse... the better to "hothouse" one's kids come exam time?).

But, most of all, there must be a view!

Hmm, I wonder how long this couple can do this... staring at this "view"?

Unusual water features are a sure-fire selling point:

As does some (sort of) "beach" frontage...

And, oh, the awesome night view!

That's supposed to be Keppel Bay (above). But I guess when fully developed, the Keppel Bay area will be impressive...

Knowing all these Singaporean-millionaire property hunting wish-lists, foreign developers have finessed their sales pitch accordingly:

The ultimate? Your own paradise island!...

Who knows, dolphins may drop by? (who needs to see the dolphins on Sentosa, hor?)...

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Well, I only hope that ordinary Singaporeans like ST reader Low Boon Hock (below) and me -- and our future generations -- still get to picnic on Singapore's own offshore isles...

The ladies of Surabaya...

This recent SIA/Silk Air ad reminded me of the family's first cruise -- so long ago -- to places within Southeast Asia, when the girls were only five and two years old:

I can't remember much now about the sights of Surabaya. But I remember the nonsense limerick I composed on board the ship, the Princess Mahsuri, just prior to its docking in Surabaya port:

Have you met the ladies of Surabaya?
They look pretty in their sarong kebaya
But give them a smile
And they'll run a mile
Shouting "Jangan kachau saya"!

Not bad, huh? [Jangan kachau saya = Please don't bother me/Leave me alone.]

I managed to find online a picture of the Princess Mahsuri, which was operated by Straits Steamship when the family took the cruise:

But back to the SIA/Silk Air ad. What we did not get to see back in that 1980s trip were two of Surabaya's volcanic "ladies", Mount Bromo and Mount Ijen. I think these pics below speak volumes for their awesomeness:

Mount Bromo

Apparently, one has to take a horse ride to get to the still active volcano. And it seems the sunrise from the elevated vantage point is something not to be missed!

Click on the link below to see a pic of "Sunrise in Bromo Mountain", courtesy of National Geographic:

http://travel.nationalgeographic.com/travel/traveler-magazine/photo-contest/2013/entries/213418/view/

Mount Ijen

It's an enormous blue/green crater lake, and the yellow sulphur deposits there are mined by the locals.

So I guess my next vacation destination has been decided, especially now that SIA and Silk Air fly to Surabaya.

When it's so in your face...

I was in the Philippines shortly after the June 1991 Mount Pinatubo eruption. Many of the places in Luzon that I visited were covered in thick volcanic ash, or lahar. Although I was not on a vacation trip, I managed to snag some souvenirs including a tee-shirt for a nephew. Emblazoned on the front were the words "Kiss My Ash". I wondered why he never wore that tee-shirt. In hindsight, I must admit that brand of humour was too "in one's face".

These past weeks, there have been a number of "in your face" jokes or incidents, that is, they were all in bad taste. Following the Asiana Airlines plane crash in San Francisco, a local TV station aired a news segment that claimed the pilot and his flight deck crew had these names!...

The airline then threatened to sue the station. Here's Slate.com's report including a video clip of the offending newscast:

http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2013/07/15/asiania_ktvu_lawsuit_airline_to_sue_network_for_sum_ting_wong_wi_tu_lo_ho.html

The joke was of course racially offensive  Still, one website, while also excoriating the racist joke, could not itself resist this headline:

Asiana Airlines Crash: There is Sum Ting Wong With These People

http://www.policymic.com/articles/54465/asiana-airlines-crash-there-is-sum-ting-wong-with-these-people

Meanwhile, in Thailand, students from the elite Chulalongkorn University thought nothing of putting Hitler on a par with superheroes:

Top Thai university apologises for Hitler mural

http://news.insing.com/tabloid/top-thai-university-apologises-for-hitler-mural/id-e8773f00

And just this week, we learnt that Rolling Stone magazine had put the surviving Boston Marathon Bomber on its front cover...

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Now I'm beginning to wonder if this joke below is politically correct or not...

A passenger plane has an engine failure and the aircraft's altitude and speed are decreasing rapidly.

The pilot speaks over the intercom ... " I'm sorry things have come to this stage, ladies and gentlemen, But unfortunately we are going to have to jettison the luggage in order for the aircraft to remain airborne ".

Baggage is thrown out but still the plane's altitude continues to decrease.

Once again the pilot gets on the intercom, "I hate to do this folks, but in order to save the majority we are going to have to start off-loading (read: jettison) some passengers. The only fair way is to do this Alphabetically, so we'll start with the Letter 'A'".

"Africans? Are there any Africans on board?"

There was no answer so the pilot calls, "Black people, are there any black people on board?"

Again silence.." Then on to alphabet C -- coloured people.........?

Are there any coloured people on board?" Still there is silence.

A little black boy sitting near the rear of the plane turned to his mother and said, "Mum, ain't we African? ..... Ain't we black? .........Ain't we coloured?"

She replied, "Yes, son but for the moment we is Niggers. Let them do the Americans....and the Australians first, ..........then the Bhutanese,............the British, the Burmese ..the Canadians , the Chinese......in that order.....,till they reach the Muslims, ...and so on and on all countries and people starting with M are done."

But the little boy persisted: "After that, wouldn't it be us?"

"After that...if the plane still needs more jettisoning...we is Zulus".

Titillating one's palate...

I asked some people how they fared on that Lifespan Calculator tool. Turns out most could live up to late 80s/early 90s. At a putative 86, I'm on the wrong side! But, heck, that's still a long way off and I must live for the here and now. So, I had char kway teow for lunch. And after that, Sex on the Beach...

And, oh, wow, it was better than...

I was at the Grandstand (the old Turf City) and was delighted to find a Seventh Heaven outlet there:

That's when I spotted the Sex on the Beach ice-cream. The bubbly server, Melissa, said it had passion fruit and peach liqueur and was inspired by the cocktail drink:

http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink583.html

It seems I was the third person today (Thursday) to have asked Melissa for Sex on the Beach. My interest aroused, I probed further and was told other people had been similarly piqued by the alluring choice of name and, like me, had a sampling first. The passion fruit essence did give a pleasant sensation to the palate, as did the liqueur although I could not tell if it was peach-based. But I was hooked and asked for a single scoop on a cone. I got more than I bargained for -- Melissa very generously heaped more than that on that little cone.

Ah, such sweet pleasure! After all...

And I needed my just desserts...

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Still on food and what it does to one's senses, I had pumpkin soup the other night at Raffles City:

Piping hot when it came, it smelled good.

I later found, online, that pumpkin has an interesting property -- when it is made into pumpkin pie:

Pumpkin pie smell stimulates arousal in men; scent is sexy aphrodisiac, says study

http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/pumpkin-pie-smell-stimulates-arousal-men-scent-sexy-aphrodisiac-study-article-1.451682

Not to worry... in the same cluster of eateries at the Grandstand is a Pies and Coffee outlet. So next time I'm there, it'll be char kway teow, pumpkin pie and Sex on the Beach! Seventh heaven, man.

Just relax, bro, and live long...

So you want to know how long you will live. One life assurance company, Northwestern Mutual Life, came up with this self-assessment tool -- its "Lifespan Calculator" -- for you to find out:

http://media.nmfn.com/tnetwork/lifespan/#0

My score? A ripe old age of 86 (haha, April Fool's Day is over); Angie will hit 90, though. Anyway, don't take it seriously. On the other hand, don't die laughing when you see your score, hor.

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Meanwhile, one Australian study on happiness says you will be happier, and presumably live longer, if you learn to accept what can't be changed as you grow older. It's as simple as that. And that's why I'm keeping my AA membership. I've stopped changing my car's tyres or battery long ago and letting the AA guy do it for me. But seriously, here's the AFP story carried by insing.com (and the opening paragraph):

http://news.insing.com/tabloid/study-reports-on-secret-to-being-satisfied-with-your-life/id-f2773f00

What's the secret to happiness as you grow older? A new study suggests that during difficult changes as you age, an acceptance of what can't be changed may be a major predictor of life satisfaction.

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And then there's this strange ST headline on "active ageing"...

It's asking you to start ageing while you are young... just be "active" while you go about doing that! But at least the man in the photo accompanying the article has the right attitude. Just really relax, man!...