Can you tell if you were born left-handed?

It's the start of the weekend, so it's chill-out stuff today. What better than quiz-time.

First, I was told I was born left-handed but it seemed I was made to switch to using my right hand for the usual stuff like writing, holding the knife in the right hand and the fork in the left hand, etc. Apparently, there are tests to determine if you are born left- or right-handed.

Now answer this question without hesitation:

After using the toilet to poo, do you use your right hand or your left hand to clean up?

Let's do this test for dementia next:

1. Johnny 's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May....What was the third child's name? 2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers....What does he weigh? 3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, ...what was the highest mountain in the world? 4. How much dirt is there in a hole ...that measures two feet by three feet by four feet? 5. What word in the English Language ...is always spelled incorrectly? 6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. ....How is this possible? 7. In California , you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. ...Why not? 8. What was the U.S. President 's Name...in 1975? 9. If you were running a race, ...and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now? 10. Which is correct to say,... "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"? 11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, ....how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field? Here are the Answers 1. Johnny 's mother had three children. The first child was named April The second child was named May.What was the third child 's name? Answer:Johnny of course 2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh? Answer: Meat. 3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world? Answer: Mt. Everest; it just wasn't discovered yet. [ You 're not very good at this are you?] 4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet? Answer: There is no dirt in a hole. 5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly? Answer: Incorrectly 6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible? Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere 7. In California , you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not? Answer: You can 't take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera to take pictures. 8. What was the U.S. President 's Name in 1975? Answer: Same as is it now - Barack Obama [Oh, come on ...] 9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now? Answer: You would be in 2nd. Well, you passed the person in second place, not first. 10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"? Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow [Duh] 11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field? Answer: One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big one.

________________________________

Okay, now that you have endured these 11 "duh" teasers, here's the answer to...

After using the toilet to poo, do you use your right hand or your left hand to clean up?

Answer: You use toilet paper! [Duh (of course, this assumes you do use toilet paper).]
_________________________

Still on poo, this item was featured in a Christmas gifts supplement...

Then, again, if you are someone like Li Peng who has two cats, you might want to get this:

Me? I couldn't resist these gingerbread men (still in their wraps but not for long... breakfast beckons):