I opened my newspaper (May 7) and I see this!...
No one among the checkers spotted that missing "t"? I can recommend my optometrist; he's very good.
Then I started reading TODAY (May 7)...
Hello! Basic grammar rule here: subject-verb-object.
So, this story above is actually saying that the police (subject) shot and wounded (verbs) a suspect and leaving six people injured (objects). Really?
That's not all. Further down the story...
The officers, we are then told, shot and subdued a suspect with a knife, that is, the suspect was (after he had been shot) subdued with a knife!! For clarity, all that's needed is to add a modifier:
Police officers... shot and subdued a male suspect who was armed with a knife...
OR
Police officers... shot and subdued a knife-wielding male suspect...
Come on, ST and TODAY, you guys can do better!
__________________________________________________
I'll wrap up on a happier note. CC sent me this:
The New English Definitions!
It seems that a lot of our old definitions for things are just that: Old.
So, some creative folks have come up with a new list of definitions!
Here are some of the new definitions we loved the most: School: An institute where the child goes to play while the parent goes to pay.Life Insurance: A contract that leaves you poor while you live so you can die rich.Nurse: A woman that wakes you up in the middle of the night to give you sleeping pills.Tears: The hydrolic force that women use to defeat men.Conference: One man's confusion multiplied by the number of people there.Father: The banker that nature gave to children.Politician: Whoever shakes your hand before elections and your wallet after elections.Doctor: A person who kills your disease with pills and you with bills.Compromise: The art of dividing the cake in a way that makes everyone believe they got the largest piece.Mosquito: The only insect that makes you prefer flies.Etc: The word that makes people think you are smarter than you really are.Atom Bomb: The invention to end all other inventions.Yawn: The only time married men are allowed to open their mouth.Philosopher: A masochistic fool who will be considered a genius once dead.An adult: A person who has stopped growing from either end and now just grows in the middle.Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.Chicken: The only animal we eat before it's born as well as after it's dead.Fancy restaurant: The only restaurant that serves you cold soup on purpose.Puddle: A small body of water that attracts other small bodies wearing dry shoes.
No comments:
Post a Comment