I must have dreamt "beyond big" (too overpowering a subliminal message?) because the next day I went and bought this...
Here it is, next to my spectacles, to give a size perspective...
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This bit of indulgent TGIF wackiness reminds me of this children's joke:
Q: Mr and Mrs Bigger have a new baby boy. Who in the family is the biggest?
A: The baby, of course! He's a little Bigger.
Squirm if you must, but kids' jokes are an important early immersion tool in appreciating jokes from a young age. I still remember this primary school joke... "What is the world's longest rope? (Europe)". My two offspring loved this childhood riddle: "Q: When is a door not a door? A: When it is ajar!"
So, clearly, "good" children's jokes involve wordplay, like these ones here:
Q. What happens when a fish and an elephant swim together?
A. Swimming trunks.
Q. What did the big chimney say to the small chimney?
A. You are too little to smoke.
Q. What do you call a surgeon with eight arms?
A. A doctopus!
Q. Why did the teacher jump into the lake?
A. Because she wanted to test the waters!
Q. Why did the belt go to jail?
A. Because it held up a pair of pants!
Q. What is the centre of gravity?
A. The letter V!
Q. What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A. Stick with me and we will go places!
Q. What sort of star is dangerous?
A. A shooting star!
Q. Which is the longest word in the dictionary?
A. "Smiles", because there is a mile between each "s"!
Q. What did the painter say to the wall?
A. One more crack like that and I'll plaster you!
Q. Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
A. In case they get a hole in one!
Q. What did the the tie say to the hat?
A. You go on a head, I'll just hang around!
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OK, last wacky item. You gotta understand Hokkien, though...
This wicked man tried to smuggle into Singapore 24 newborn Oriental Wide-eye songbirds (mata putih in Malay). I say wicked because his "undercover" method led to seven of the hatchlings perishing. He was caught at the Singapore Cruise Centre.
So, how was he exposed? A little bird must have whispered into a Custom officer's ear: Coo-coo (koo-koo).
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