Arrgh, these are my worst jokes!

I asked myself, What are my three worst jokes? I have so many (haha) but let's see if these three pass the test:

Q: Where do sick clocks go to in Singapore?
A: The Tick Tock Seng Hospital.
(Note: For the benefit of non-locals, there's a hospital called Tan Tock Seng Hospital.)

A man was shot but the assailant had fled by the time police arrived. One constable asked the dying man, "Who shot you?" The man tried to answer but all he could say was "Arrgh" before he expired. The police went through their records and went to one particular house. They knocked on the door. A man opened it. "Mr Arrgh, you are under arrest for suspicion of a murder!"

My third choice is from my "follow instructions" collection... Ah Huay wanted to show Ah Heng she was not just a trophy wife. So she wanted to surprise him by painting the walls of their new flat, all by herself. While he was out "loansharking", she went out to buy cans of paint. When he got home, he found spilt paint and an overturned can. Worse, Ah Huay was wrapped in two thick overcoats, sprawled on the floor and suffering from heat stroke. "Aiyoh, what happened?" he asked her. "I followed instructions, lor. It says here on each can, 'For best results, use two coats'."

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So, I decided to check online if there are other "worst jokes". Here's one list (I tweaked the first one to give it a local context):
  
1. Two tai-tai (women of leisure) walk into a building... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

2. Phone answering machine message -- "...If you want to buy
marijuana, press the hash key..."

3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist's office wearing only Gladwrap for shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

4. I went out to buy some camouflage trousers but I couldn't find any.

5. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him that he
couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He declined, adding, "The steaks
are too high."

6. A friend drowned in a muesli bowl. A strong currant pulled him in.

7. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you
can't, I had to cut your arms off.".

8. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the
craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your
kayak and heat it too.

10. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his
head. Doc says, "I'll give you some cream to put on it."

11."Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home". Doc: "That
sounds like the Tom Jones syndrome." Man: "Is it common?" Doc: "It's not unusual."

12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is
there anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have
a look at him". So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he
checks his teeth. Finally, the vet says, "I'm going to have to put
him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy".

13. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.

14. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you
give me a lift?" I said "Sure. You look great ... the world's your
oyster ... go for it."

15. "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving
today." They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking
Fine.' "So that was nice of them."

16. A man walked into the doctor's. He said, "I've hurt my arm in
several places". The doctor said, "Well don't go there anymore".