Confucius say...

Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821) reportedly said, "Let China sleep; when she wakes, she will shake the world."

Fast forward to today. Both China and Taiwan mark 10 Oct as the day in 1911 when the Chinese people overthrew the Qing Dynasty as well as the yoke of feudalism. Unfortunately for the Nationalists (KMT), the Communists (CCP) swept them out to Taiwan in 1949.

Today -- 10 Oct 2011 -- marks the centennial of China's Republican Revolution led by Dr Sun Yat Sen.

Listening to the words of today's CCP leaders, one senses their quiet confidence in the veracity of Bonaparte's prediction.

Chinese President Hu Jintao said, "To achieve the great revival (emphasis mine) of the Chinese nation, we must certainly firmly uphold the leadership of the Chinese Communist Party."

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So, if China's leaders can help it, liberalisation into a "two-party" system merely means one on Friday night and one on Saturday night! Work hard the rest of the work-week, comrades! (Actually, this joke has been attributed to the late paramount leader Deng Xiaoping but I doubt if he had such a humorous bent).

Having dug up some Russian-themed jokes yesterday, I thought it would be fun to do likewise with some Chinese ones. Most "Confucius say" jokes are over-the-top corny but I think these here just about make the pass grade:

Confucius say...
If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient.
Man with athletic finger make broad jump.
When called an idiot sometimes better to be quiet than open mouth and remove all doubt.
Man who runs in front of car gets tired. [note: this works only with American spelling]
Man who runs behind car gets exhausted.
Man who drives like Hell soon gets there.
Man who gets hit by car will have that run-down feeling.

This next joke is attributed to Ronald Reagan:
How do you tell someone is a communist? He reads Marx and Lenin.
How do you tell someone is an anti-communist? He understands Marx and Lenin.

What about Mao Zedong jokes? I thought this one is pretty good...
Where is Mao buried? In a MAOsoleum!

Then there is that classic Bush-era joke in which Condi Rice tells Bush "Hu is President of China" which made Dubya angry because he didn't like her to answer his question with a question (I had posted this one in a much earlier posting).

Last one...
Three men are standing on a street corner. A news reporter comes up to them.
"What is your opinion of the meat shortage?"
The American: What is shortage?
The Russian: What is meat?
The Chinese: What is opinion?
[This is not true, of course. Many netizens in China are bravely voicing their opinions on social media.]