Russian/Putin jokes

There is a genre of jokes loosely called "Russian jokes". Given the country's tumultuous history, the Tsarist era, Soviet-era and post-Soviet era jokes can be poignant.

I still recall this one from the musical Fiddler on the Roof (the context is Tsarist persecution of Jews):

*A villager asks the visiting Rabbi: Is there a prayer we can say for the Tsar?
Rabbi: Yes, of course, that may he be kept far, far, away from this place. 

Then there is this Soviet-era joke:

*A professor is invited to a mental asylum to give a lecture about how great communism is. At the end of the presentation, he gets a resounding applause from the packed audience. But one man stands silently, with his arms folded.
The academic asks him, "Why aren't you clapping too?"
The man replies: "I'm still sane. I work here."

In post-Soviet Russia, strongman Vladimir Putin served two terms as president and because the Constitution disallows him from an unbroken third term, he arranged for his prime minister Dmitry Medvedev, seen by most Russians as a political wimp, to become the "seat-warmer" president while Mr Putin became prime minister for a term.

Well, the Russian presidential election is due again in March next year. The prospect of Putin becoming -- once again, for the third time -- Russia's next president has generated a slew of Putin-themed jokes.

I found, online, these three jokes (and have updated the third one):

* Stalin's ghost appears to Putin in a dream, and Putin asks for his help in running the country.
Stalin says, "Round up and shoot all your opponents, and then paint the inside of the Kremlin blue."
Putin: "Why blue?"
"Ha!" says Stalin. "I knew you wouldn't ask me about the first part."

*Putin goes to a restaurant with Medvedev and orders a steak.
The waiter asks, "And what about the vegetable?"
Putin answers, "The vegetable will have steak too."

*Putin and Obama are fishing on the Volga River. After half an hour Obama complains, "Vladimir, I'm getting bitten like crazy by mosquitoes, but I haven't seen a single one bothering you."
Putin: "They know better than that."

More recently, AFP filed a story that said new Putin jokes are making the rounds ahead of next year's  vote, and with many Russians fearing that he will remain in power for two more six-year terms until
2024. By that time he would be 72 and the longest-serving Moscow leader since dictator Joseph Stalin.

Here are a selection of the fresh Putin jokes:

*Q: Who are you going to vote for: Putin or Putin?
  A: I’m so sick of them all, I’ll vote for Putin.

*February 2012, a sign on the wall of a polling station says: “Sunday, March 4 is the date for the election of Russian President Vladimir Putin.”

*Hello, you’ve reached Russian President Dmitry Medvedev. If you wish to speak to Dmitry Anatolyevich (Medvedev), press “two.”

*A referendum in 2012 asks: Do you agree to give another term to: 1) Vladimir Putin; 2) (Jailed oligarch) Mikhail Khodorkovsky
Vladimir Putin: “I am fine with both.”