Monday, January 7, 2013

Bad romance? Worse... bad analogies!

Yesterday's blog entry was about good analogies. Today's is about bad -- and therefore, funny -- analogies.

Someone compiled such a list from The Washington Post's Style Invitational column. Here's the site and a selection of those hilarious analogies:

http://www.jimcarlton.com/bad_analogies.htm

 --Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. (Jerry Pannullo, Kensington)

--The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a
while.
(Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington)

--He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a
real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or
something.
(John Kammer, Herndon)

--She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just
before it throws up.
(Susan Reese, Arlington)

--The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of
his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly
surcharge-free ATM.
(Paul J. Kocak, Syracuse)

--The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan
set on medium.
(Ralph Scott, Washington)

--He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she
were a garbage truck backing up. (Susan Reese, Arlington)

--Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH
cleanser.
(Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

--She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
(Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

--A branch fell from the tree like a trunk falling off an elephant.
(Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

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The original WP column has a fuller list:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/invitational/invit990314.htm

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This site is also pretty funny:

http://trig.net/~dave/analogy.html

As is this one...

http://www.funny2.com/questionableanalogies.htm

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