Yesterday's blog entry was about good analogies. Today's is about bad -- and therefore, funny -- analogies.
Someone compiled such a list from The Washington Post's Style Invitational column. Here's the site and a selection of those hilarious analogies:
http://www.jimcarlton.com/bad_analogies.htm
--Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. (Jerry Pannullo,
Kensington)
--The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from
not eating for a
while.
(Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington)
--He was as
lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a
real duck that
was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or
something.
(John
Kammer, Herndon)
--She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like
that sound a dog makes just
before it throws up.
(Susan Reese,
Arlington)
--The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had
disintegrated because of
his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a
surcharge at a formerly
surcharge-free ATM.
(Paul J. Kocak,
Syracuse)
--The
dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan
set on
medium.
(Ralph Scott, Washington)
--He was deeply in love. When she
spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she
were a garbage truck backing up.
(Susan Reese, Arlington)
--Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had
forgotten to put in any pH
cleanser.
(Chuck Smith,
Woodbridge)
--She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing
legs.
(Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)
--A branch fell from the tree like a trunk falling
off an elephant.
(Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)
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The original WP column has a fuller list:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/invitational/invit990314.htm
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This site is also pretty funny:
http://trig.net/~dave/analogy.html
As is this one...
http://www.funny2.com/questionableanalogies.htm
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