Sunday, November 7, 2010

Corny? It's a-maize-ing, isn't it?

What was the first joke one has heard? At what age? I can't recall my first joke but I do know that, as a boy, I found copies of Movie News (late 50s and 60s era) my brothers had bought. My favourite page was the funny bones page. Many of the jokes were corny, but I was tickled. That is why I never pooh-pooh low-brow jokes. A joke is a joke, a pun a pun -- never mind the critics who insist that "a pun is the lowest form of wit".'

And if a joke is corny, isn't that "a-maize-ing!"

So here are my "six of the best" low-brow jokes:

What's the world's longest rope?
Europe

If the people of Poland are called Poles, what are the people of Holland called?
Holes

It was all dark in the house. Jane heard a noise downstairs. Nervously, she dialed 999 for the police. But she dialled 666 instead. The police came upside down.

Shutup and Trouble were brothers. But Trouble went missing and Shutup went everywhere to look for him. A policeman came by.
"What are you looking for?" he asked.
Trouble, came the reply.
Temper rising,the cop demanded, "What's your name?"
As expected, poor Shutup got arrested after he opened his mouth again.

What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
What has eight wheels and flies?
Two garbage trucks.

You don't need to be a Chinese to grasp (or groan at) this one... There is a street in Chinatown where on one side is a shop with the proprietor's name, "Wee Kian Fatt" (note: for non-Chinese, the last part of this name, well, rhymes with "part"). On the other side of the street, facing this shop, is a shop with the sign, "Soh Kian Wee".

2 comments:

  1. I found the chinatown one hilarious!

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  2. My contribution..........
    Twisted Puns

    Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine .

    A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

    A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

    Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

    Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

    When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

    A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

    What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)

    A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

    The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully
    recovered.

    Every calendar's days are numbered.

    A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small
    medium at large.

    Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

    Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

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