Wednesday, November 24, 2010

So, if you are the buyer, the person you just made payment to is the buyee?

Thanks Nick, for your comment yesterday about a New Paper headline, "S'pore need exposure" which seemed to intentionally pun on the  rather cheeky swim trucks of the Singapore men's water polo team at the current Asian Games.

The red swimwear in question  features a white crescent moon rising out from the groin area as well as five white stars nearby; ego, it was a creative way to design a competition swim trunk using the Singapore flag.

But the authorities were not amused. Netizens, as usual, were divided. Some saw red (and white?) and were, well, hung up about the issue; others were of the view that if you have it, flaunt it (creative ideas, that is). 

Anyway, that brouhaha is a reminder that life can often be offbeat, so I think I should take a break from my "more serious" posting yesterday and return to some good old fashioned humour.

A friend sent me the stuff below last year. It came from The Washington Post, which  had  asked its readers to supply alternative meanings for common words. These are from the winners:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one
has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v.. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing
only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has
been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by
proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with
yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul
flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
Jewish men.

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