It's the first day of school in a US town, and the new kid settles in...

Trust CC to send this. It may not be all that politically correct, but -- hey -- it's the weekend, so, as Bugs Bunny would say, "unlax":

It is the first day of a school in a small American town and the newly minted immigrant, Chandran, joins the fourth grade.
 
The teacher says: "Let's review some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"
 
She sees a sea of blank faces except for Chandran who raises his hand: "Patrick Henry, 1775."
 
"Very good!"
 
Who said, "Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish 'from the Earth?''
 
Again, no response except from Chandran: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
 
The teacher snaps at the rest of the class: "You should be ashamed. Chandran, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you do."
 
She hears a loud whisper: "F*** the Indians!"
 
"Who said that?" she demands.
 
Chandran puts up his hand: "General Custer, 1862."
 
At that point, a student in the back says: "I'm gonna puke."
 
The teacher glares around and asks: "Now, who said that?"

Again, Chandran pips up: "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
 
Now furious, another student yells: "Oh yeah? Suck this!"
 
Chandran jumps out of his chair and shouts too: "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997."
 
The teacher faints. That's when someone quietly says: "Oh shit, we're screwed!"
 
Chandran too has quietened as he whispers: "I think it was Lehmann Brothers, November 4th, 2008." 
 

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Here's two more song-inspired headlines:

Reunited, And It Feels So Good

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26J0uDIGErM

It's the reunion of the American Pie gang, and the headline writer picked the Peaches & Herb hit.

Scarborough Fair

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWu6ney5hYQ

I think, for this one above, the headline writer hit some shoals ie the headline sank. It is obviously about the dispute over contested islands in the South China Sea but I don't quite get what the headline is all about. Still, the Simon and Garfunkle song -- used also in the Dustin Hoffman movie "The Graduate" -- is an evergreen, at least to us baby boomers.

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I'll round off with two recent newspaper clippings. The first is what I'll call a "picture of irony" and the second is a nice headline, well-crafted, for a two-paragraph story about two over-exuberant men...