Yesterday was about active ageing. Today is just ageing...
While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal,
they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip.
The elderly woman had unknowingly left her glasses on the table when they left, and she didn't miss them until the old couple had been back on the road for about forty minutes. The old man got upset on hearing about it.
By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.
All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and kept scolding his wife during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just
wouldn't let up for a single minute.
To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car to hurry inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled out to her:
"While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card."
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A is for Adidog
It's still the Chinese New Year season, so Killer wore festive red:
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And B is for British humour...
These are classified ads placed in U.K.
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites!
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1/2 Cocker Spaniel , 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.
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FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
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COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.
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JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.
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WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie .
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FOR SALE
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica , 45
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.
No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.
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Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker -- Billy
"If women are so bloody perfect at multi-tasking,
How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"
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Children Are Quick
TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your maths multiplication on the
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn , how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
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TEACHER: Donald , what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie , name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie , give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is.
TEACHER: No, Millie ..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
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TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same
as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
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TEACHER: Harold , what do you call a person who keeps on talking
when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher .
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