I was going to stay off jokes about lawyers and judges for some time at least, but I found this one in my collection, so I might as well post it here:
A court trial is taking place in a small town in America. The prosecuting attorney has called his first witness to the stand: a grandmotherly, elderly woman.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy.
"And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
"Yes, I know you." The lawyer was visibly stunned.
Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?
She again replied. "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention that he cheated on his wife with three different women.
"Yes, I know him." The defence attorney almost died!
At this point, the judge adjourned the court session and called both counsellors to his chambers. In a very quiet voice, he told them: "When we go back in, if either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt."
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