Favourite lawyer jokes

I'll do one more day on the lawyer theme. These are my three favourite lawyer jokes:

A beautiful lawyer and a smarmy businessman were involved in a road collision. They got out of their cars and, of course, the business tried to hit on the lawyer as they waited for the tow trucks to arrive.

She reached inside her car and took out a bottle of wine and two glasses. "Let's share some wine while we wait, and maybe we can get to know each other better," she said, batting her eyelids.

Pleased as Punch, he of course took up the offer, not noticing that each time after she refilled their glasses, she would discreetly pour her wine into a drain nearby. He had several refills.

Then the sound of a police car's siren was heard. As she took his wine glass away from him and stashed the empty bottle and wine glasses back inside her car, she sweetly told the now inebriate man: "Oh, I called the police before I got out of my car. I'm sure they'll want to talk to you about this accident."

Okay, next.

An engineer ended up in Hell. The Devil was very pleased as this was the first engineer he had in the Netherworld. The man happened to be a refrigeration specialist and he set about making Hell very comfortable, with airconditioning piped everywhere there.

One day, Saint Peter was dispatched to Hell to explain that there was a terrible mistake, that the engineer was in fact meant to go to Heaven. Of course the Devil refused, and pointed to the now ultra comfy surroundings of the once hot-furnance setting. Even Peter was impressed. But he had a job to do, and so he threatened to sue the Devil if he kept the engineer in Hell.

Then the Devil sneered at Saint Peter. "And where will you find lawyers in Heaven?" he asked.

My last one involves a doctor, an engineer and a lawyer.

These three men were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. The doctor said, "Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession."

The engineer countered, "But, before that, God created the heavens and earth from chaos and confusion, and thus he was the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is an older profession than medicine."

Then was a long pause as the two men waited for the lawyer to speak up. Then he slowly drawled: "Yes. But who do you think created all the chaos and confusion?"