Here's another St Peter at the Pearly Gates anecdote, the target in this case being a HR manager sent up to Heaven. It was emailed some time back by an old friend, Lik Khui:
A highly successful Human Resources Manager was killed in a road accident and her soul arrived up in Heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
"Welcome," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in, though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far, and we're not really sure what to do with you."
"No worries, just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have my instructions. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman.
"Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the executive in a lift and it went down-down-down to Hell. The doors opened and the HR Manager found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and in front of her were all her fellow executive friends that she had worked with, and they were well dressed and cheering for her.
They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed a superb steak and lobster dinner.
She even met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kinda cute) and she had a great time hearing him tell jokes She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as she got on the lift to go up to Heaven.
The lift went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and she found St. Peter waiting for her.
"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came to talk to her.
"So, you've spent a day in Hell and you've spent a day in Heaven. Now you must choose how you will spend eternity."
The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I would say this. I mean, Heaven has been really nice, but I had a better time in Hell. I'll choose that."
"You sure?," asked St Peter.
"Yes, haha, lock that answer in," she replied.
So St. Peter escorted her to the lift and again she went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the lift opened she found herself standing in a desolate waste land covered in garbage and filth. She saw that her friends were dressed in rags and picking up garbage and putting it in sacks.
The Devil came up to her and, with a devilish smile (what else!) put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland and all my friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her and smiled again. "Yesterday, we were recruiting you. Today you're one of the staff..."
The moral of this story? Go figure.
Postscript: What gives a copy editor a thrill? A flash of inspiration. There was this rather dry story filed by the reporter on how Earth Hour was marked at 8.30 pm yesterday (Saturday) in Singapore at The Promontory at Marina Bay. It needed a snazzy intro for a start, and (in a flash), I found what I thought was a pretty cool one. Here it is:
"Earth to Marina Bay... lights off for an hour please" ("Let there be no lights...", The Sunday Times, 27 March, page 8).
No comments:
Post a Comment