A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners. At one house
it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his
repeated knocks at the door.
He then took out a card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of
it and stuck it in the door. When the offering was processed the following
Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this
cryptic message, "Genesis 3:10."
Reaching for his Bible to check out the cited verse, he broke up in laughter.
Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock."
Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for
I was naked."
Here's some others, even if some are a little less classy:
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A. Ruthless.
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are mentioned in the Bible?
A. Abba Yahweh drove Adam and Eve out of the garden in a Fury.
A. Abba Yahweh drove Adam and Eve out of the garden in a Fury.
[the Plymouth Fury was an iconic American car in the 1960s.]
David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.
[Triumph was once a famous British brand.]
There was also a Honda car, since it was said that "the Apostles were all in one Accord".
Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.
A. Samson. He brought the house down.
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Q. Which servant of The Most High was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.
A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.
Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.
A. Joshua, son of Nun.
Q. Why didn't they play cards on the ark?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
Q. Why it is it wrong for a woman to make coffee?
A. It's in the Bible; it says " He – brews ".
A. Moses played in the court of the Pharoahs. (Okay, it could have been squash or badminton.)
Q. How do we know Moses was the first person to have a headache?
A. God gave him two tablets and said "Call me in the morning".
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