Just one more Singapore joke...

Last Monday, I put up here a Today reader's question about the basis for allowing two young generals and two young senior-grade civil servants to retire rather than resign their positions. Implied in the letter, I suppose, was whether rules were bent to facilitate such retirement. (These four gentlemen are now on the PAP's slate of new election candidates.)

The replies from the Ministry of Defence and the Public Service Division was fairly quick, last Thursday. But I had not found the time to highlight these replies till today. Well, better late than never.

The short answer given, as I would have expected, is that provisions have long been in place for early retirement, subject to conditions.

In the case of the two generals [MG (NS) Chan Chun Sing, aged 41 and BG (NS) Tan Chuan Jin, aged 42], they were allowed to retire with the appropriate medical benefits since they satisfied the SAF's requirements that those who leave should be aged 40 or older and would have served at least 10 years of SAVER service [a non-pensionable SAF retirement scheme].

So, both men have retired but are not pensionable.

In the PSD's reply, the Pensions Act allows for a pensionable officer "to retire from the Civil Service before he reaches the retirement age, provided he satisfies certain service conditions, including having served for at least 15 years". Such officers will get the appropriate pension amount and the appropriate medical benefits.

Mr Heng Swee Kiat (aged 49) satisfied those conditions, retiring with a reduced pension. But the PSD made it clear that -- contrary to the letter writer's impression that Mr Lawrence Wong had also retired -- Mr Wong had resigned. This was because Mr Wong "is 38 years old and did not meet the years-in-service requirement for early retirement".

I am glad to see the exchange. It serves the public interest and it puts to rest questions about the situation of young public servants going into retirement prior to entering politics.

Okay, next.

I was wondering if my "Singaporeans and changing light bulbs" yarn could have further permutations. Here's what I further came up with.

Q: How long does it take Singaporeans to change a light bulb (assuming they have learnt from the foreign talent how to do so)?

Answer A: It depends on whether the light bulb is a subsidised one or not. If the replacement bulb is market-priced, it can be done in a jiffy. If the bulb is a subsidised one, take a queue number, and wait for your name to be called. And you can only get a new replacement bulb six months later, regardless of whether the one in place has blown or not.

Answer B: If the electricity bill has already been paid for (electricity, real-time, pricing or ERP), it won't take long... just screw in the bulb and it's good to go. If the ERP has not been paid, the bulb won't light up (duh) and you have to pay an "administrative fee" (translation: a fine) before you are allowed to change the bulb again. Provided you have first paid up the ERP.

Last item... just one more Singapore joke, which I found on the Net:

In Singapore, living in Highly Dangerous Building (HDB), most people have already gotten used to Pay And Pay (PAP); not only pay, you Pay Until Broke (PUB).

If that is not enough, somebody still Purposely Want to Dig (PWD) from you. What can you do if you are in the Money Only Environment (MOE).

With the current Mad Accounting System (MAS), you are forced to Pay the Sum Ahead (PSA) which makes some people Purposely Owe Some Banks (POSB) and live on Loan Techniques Always (LTA).

When you are sick, you might be able to use the Cash Prior to Funeral (CPF) fund if you happen to be admitted to the Money Operating Hospital (MOH) in time. If you are in sure bad luck, you may meet doctor who Never Use Heart (NUH) to treat you and that would make you to Sure Give up Hope (SGH). When that happens, Call Home (CH); you deserve a better place to recuperate.

To help to ease the traffic, motorists have to pay Cash On Expressway (COE). If that don't help, the Lousy Tax Accounting (LTA) can always Every time Raise Price (ERP) on the road.

If you don't own a car, you can always go for the Mad Rush to Train (MRT) and get squashed Side By Side (SBS).