What those terms on your appraisal report really mean

Some time ago, I came across this spoof Human Resource code for performance appraisal reports.

1. Outgoing personality: Always going out of the office.

2. Great presentation skills: Able to bullshit.

3. Good communication skills: Spends lots of time on the phone.

4. Work is first priority: No social life.

5. Active socially: Drinks a lot.

6. Independent worker: Nobody knows what he/she does here.

7. Quick thinking: Always offering plausible excuses.

8. Careful thinker: Won't make a decision.

9. Uses logic when given difficult assignments: Gets someone else to do it.

10. Meticulous attention to details: Nit picker. 

11. Exceptionally good judgment: Lucky.

12. Keen sense of humour: Knows a lot of dirty jokes.

13. Career-minded: Back stabber.

14. Loyal: Can't get a job elsewhere.

15. Plans for his/her promotion: First to buy the drinks especially when the boss is present.

16. Of great value to the organisation: Gets to work on time.

17. Relaxed attitude: Sleeps at desk.