Fun with MRT-station names!

This collection of MRT station-based puns has been going viral in Singapore (sorry, you have to be a local to catch them or you will "liah boh kiew/catch no ball")...

http://mothership.sg/2015/01/this-spore-woman-is-so-creative-aljunied-is-her-puns/

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I don't know how to create memes, so you have to visualise these originals from me...

Lu ai SIMEI chart? Oo ang chart, oo lum chart, oo ORCHARD!
Siam eh, HOLLAND lok leh [okay, I cheated... its full name is Holland Village].
Keep calm and don't KALLANG kabok!
I not PIONEER, I pai kia generation!
Don't koon here. Thng JOO KOON.
EXPO-liceman  looking for job. Can catch cheating spouses.  
Huh? Wa buay ang koo quay, mee chian quay, boh buay CLARK QUAY leh.
Everyone knows what station is NE14. HOUGANG you don't know?
If you don't want to keep it, BUANGKOK-rect or not?
If I KENT RIDGE it on time by the train, why can't you?
STADIUM. Good dog.

Stay. Diam. Good dog.