Saturday, August 24, 2013

Cynical sexist jokes versus The Secrets of Old Age...

Husband versus wife: When it's not just a joke!

I posted two husband-versus-wife jokes yesterday. Then I remembered the BMW item I had posted earlier:


And now there's this rivetting court trial in mainland China:


I think I'll stick with the jokes...

CC sent me this one...

 Men Are Just Happier People
>
> NICKNAMES
>          If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
>          If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
>
> EATING OUT
>          When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.
>         None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
>          When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
>
> MONEY
>          A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
>          A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
>
> BATHROOMS
>          A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, soap, and a towel.
>          The typical woman's bathroom has 337 items.  A man won't be able to identify more than 20 of the items.
>
> ARGUMENTS
>          A woman has the last word in any argument.
>          Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
>
> FUTURE
>         A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
>         A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
>
> MARRIAGE
>         A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
>         A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
>
> DRESSING UP
>          A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash,
>         answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
>         A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
>
> NIGHT AND DAZED.
>          Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
>          Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
>
> OFFSPRING
>          Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about dentist
>         appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
>         A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
>
> AND THE THOUGHT FOR THE DAY...
> A married man should forget his mistakes.  There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
>

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I guess cynical jokes make one laugh. But nothing beats the heartwarming stuff...

The Secrets of Old Age

Before middle age – Do not fear, 
After middle age – Do not regret...
So enjoy your life while you can.




Don't wait till you can't even walk just to be sorry and to regret... So, as long as it is physically possible, visit places you wish to visit.
Above all, treasure every moment with your other half;
One of you will leave first.



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Dream car revisited

Finally, while I am still "young at heart" (and only that)... I had said my dream car was the Volvo P1800. But I've changed my mind, after reading about this... 4.9 sec to reach 100kph, in a two-litre production car. Wow! Now I have to go to the shops to look for the diecast scale model (no need for COE, lah)...



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