Two husband-versus-wife jokes, and a political joke...

Husband versus wife

* There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money.
He was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife:
“When I die, I want you to take all the money that I have, and put it in the casket with me.
I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.”

His wife promised him with all of her heart that she would do so.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, and his wife was there, in black.

Her friend was sitting next to her.
When they finished the ceremony, the undertakers closed the casket.

The wife suddenly said: “Wait just a minute!”

She had a box with her; and she came over with the box and put it in the casket.
Then the undertakers locked the casket and rolled it away for cremation.
So her friend said:

“I know you. You weren’t fool enough to put all that money in there!”
The loyal wife replied, “I’m an honest loyal wife. I can’t go back on my word. 

I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.”

“You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?”
 “I sure did,” said the wife.

“I tallied it up, put it into my bank account and wrote him a cheque.

If he can cash it, he can spend it.”

* A woman announces to her friend she is getting married for the fourth time.
 Her friend was happy for her: “How wonderful!

But I hope you don’t mind me asking what happened to your first husband?”
“He ate poisonous mushrooms and died.”
“Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?”
“He ate poisonous mushrooms, too, and died.”
“Oh, how terrible! I’m almost afraid to ask you about your third husband.”
“He died of a broken neck.”
“A broken neck?”
“He wouldn’t eat the mushrooms.”

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A really good political joke

The American brags, "We vote in the morning. In the afternoon, we know who the President is". The Chinese says nonchalantly, "Isn't that dumb? Today we vote, but last year we already knew who the President would be". With a contemptuous look, the North Korean says to the American and Chinese, "We don't have to vote. We know who... since we were little kids". The bewildered Japanese says. "We have been voting time and again but we never know who is going to be the next Prime Minister". The Russian smiles faintly, "When our President was tired of being the President, he made himself the Prime Minister. When he became tired of being the Prime Minister, he became the President again". The Cuban doubtfully looked at everyone and asked meekly, "Brothers, you mean it is possible to change the leader?" The Iraqi had the final word. With a loud voice, he exclaimed, "Can, can be changed. Certainly. If we don't, the Americans will change for us."