Brevity... is like a bikini, or stale fish?

I don't tweet. But there is now a phenomenon dubbed "Twitter journalism". Many such tweets are by first-on-the-scene "citizen journalists" who give the first spiel on, say, a major disaster, violent shooting or other typically tragic event that has just occurred. Sadly, bad news make good copy -- in this case, tweets. Hoaxes can happen. So much so that the link below gives tips on spotting credible "breaking tweets". 

http://media.twitter.com/257/twitter-journalism

A tweet -- limited to 140 characters inclusive of spaces -- makes a virtue of brevity. That's my own theme today.

A standard tip to people giving speeches or making presentations is to use the "bikini" template, that is, a talk or presentation should be like a bikini -- skimpy (short enough) to highlight all the interesting bits but without revealing all. Any fuller expose (elaboration) can be done later, during Q&A. Of course, there are bikinis and there are bikinis, and the "body of work" (subject matter) must have "sex appeal" in the first place.

Which brings me to my next brevity tale. I have used the tongue-in-cheek anecdote below in classroom situations:

A professor set his students a challenge: Come up with the shortest essay that has the key ingredients of a good yarn: Religion, royalty or well-known personality, sex (preferably scandalous) and the whodunnit element. Only one student received the highest grade, with this composition:

"My God, said the Queen. I am pregnant! But I don't know who is he."

Not bad, huh? Just 68 characters. (Do your own count; I may be wrong.)

Then there is this (fish) tale...

A simpleton fishmonger decided to set up his stall in a town full of smart alecs. He puts up the sign he has always been using -- "Fresh fish sold here". It is early morning, and his catch is indeed fresh.

Along comes Smart Alec No 1 (let's call him SA1). He tells the fishmonger, "Old chap, 'here' is not needed. We can all see you are here." So, okay, the man strikes out that word. SA1 does not buy any fish.

SA2 comes by next. "Why do you need 'sold'. It's obvious that's what you do." So the poor chap strikes that out too. SA2 does not buy any fish.

SA3 ambles by. "Hmmm, "Fresh fish"? Surely you don't sell stale fish? Strike "fresh" out. And it was done. SA3 too does not buy any fish.

It is noon by now. The guy has not sold a single fish and there is now a stale smell around the stall. Along comes SA4. "Haha, your sign says you are selling fish? Who will buy your stinky fish?"

The next day, the local newspaper has a report with this headline: "Fishmonger goes berserk; arrested for stuffing smelly fish down man's throat."

Moral No 1: If you sell fish, make sure you have lots of ice. It's better to stuff this down a smart alec's throat.
Moral No 2: Never overstay your welcome. After three days as a house guest, your presence stinks like stale fish (this has nothing to do with the story above, but what the heck, it's got "stale fish" in it!)

Postscript: I first heard these two anecdotes in the pre-Internet era. They are that old. But, thanks to the Internet, I found out more about their possible origin/s, and the various permutations. My embellishments are from my own wacky head. Abuthen.