These are apparently culled from test answer scripts, probably of American and British origin:
Q: What happens to a boy during puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his childhood and enters adultery.
Q: What is a vibration?
A: There are good vibrations, and there are bad vibrations. Good vibrations were discovered in the 1960s (according to my dad).
Q: What is Sir Walter Raleigh famous for?
A: He invented cigarettes and started a craze for bicycles.
Q: Find x.
(For this one, you have to imagine a right-hand triangle with values given for the opposite side and adjacent side. The question wants the answer for the length, marked 'x', of the hypotenuse. Easy-peasy trigonometry question but this is one student's answer...)
A: Here it is [with an arrow pointing to 'x'].
Q: Steve is travelling at 60 feet/sec and the speed limit is 40 mph. Is Steve speeding?
A: He should check his speedometer.
Q: Where was Hadrian's Wall built?
A: Around Hadrian's garden.
[Note: Please Google "Hadrian's Wall" if you don't get this one.]
Q: Where was the American Declaration of Independence signed?
A: At the bottom.
Q: What is the meaning of "varicose"?
A: Close by.
Q: Name six animals that live specifically in the Arctic.
A: Two polar bears, four seals.
Q: Explain the phrase "free press".
A: When your mum irons your trousers for you.
Q: Name one measure that can be used to stem river flooding during extensive rainfall.
A: Such flooding can be avoided by placing a number of big dames into the river.
{Hmmm... might just work next time Orchard Road floods. PUB, are you reading this??]
And the best for me is this one...
Q: Briefly explain what is hard water.
A: Ice.
Postscript: Any teachers out there who can supply me with local examples?
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