Forget snake oil, snail slime will make you beautiful!

Woman Puts Snails on Body For Cosmetic Effects, Unintentionally Causes Mollusk Massacre

If you see a headline like that, wouldn't you want to read the story? There's even this picture:

 And here's the link to the story:

http://en.rocketnews24.com/2011/07/15/woman-puts-snails-on-body-for-cosmetic-effects-unintentionally-leads-to-mollusk-massacre/

It's worth a read. Snail's slime, it seems, is good for one's complexion. "The medicinal and cosmetic effects of snail mucous on human skin have long been recognized, and snail cream is popular among some women as a miracle cream that works well against wrinkles, acne, stretch marks and other conditions," the story gushes.

But the Chinese woman in the story above used an alcoholic cleanser on herself before letting her gastropods go "slip, slidin' away" all over her. They died from alcohol poisoning, said the autopsy (yes, there was one, said the story). Assuming those mollusks were not teetotallers, they died inebriated but happy, I hope.

One cautionary note from the article... As one doctor commented: “though the liquid of snails is recognised as having certain cosmetic effects, there is a chance that actual snails may carry parasites; putting snails directly on your skin is not sanitary.”

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So, is there a Singapore angle?

This ad appeared recently in a local newspaper:

 Haha, no harm was done. But how were they paid? And how were they recruited? "No rush job here. Take your time. Work at your own (snail's) pace"?

Slip slidin' away

And the appropriate mood music for these snail-paced workers? Paul Simon's "Slip slidin' Away"...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuPJzzcV6jA

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Defecating away?

I thought I heard this on the 9am news on the radio today: "...he faces charges of defecation and abuse of power". I'm sure I heard it right because the newsreader quickly corrected himself and said "defection". The item was about this top cop in China, now on trial, who had fled to the US Consulate before finally surrendering to the Chinese authorities.