How to speak Panda-nese!

Wah, when these two Very Important Pandas (VIPs)/Chinese Foreign Talent (CFT) were flown in, first-class by SIA (Sar-kar In the Air), a VIP (P = panda-hugging) welcome committee (dressed in what look like corrective work order vests, as Mr Brown notes in his blog) was there to greet them:

(Top picture: TODAY; bottom picture: insing.com)

So, which one is macho Kai Kai and which one is demure Jia Jia? If you are looking for a clue between the legs, sorry, the tree got in the way. And the pic on the right doesn't help... now you'll never know if female pandas have breasts.

But before you pop in two Panda-nols (or should they be Panadols?) as a result of a splitting headache trying to figure out which is which, here's the answer: KK is on the left, modestly hiding his pandahood; JJ is on the right, flashing a toothy grin.

The New Paper, also caught up in the panda-monium, came out with this graphic:

So, why are pandas also called giant pandas? I know for sure that for one breed of dogs, schnauzers, there are mini ("small dog with big personality", like my dog Killer), standard (dubbed "dog with the human brain") and giant (yes, giant! "The Mohamad Ali of the dog world") schnauzers. Check out this link below:

http://www.max-the-schnauzer.com/

As far as we know, there is only one type of pandas. Now that they are here for the next 10 years, shouldn't we be weaning them off those expensive bamboo shoots and leaves, and getting them to eat panda(n) leaves instead?

Panda(i), huh?

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This is from Lynn Truss' well-known book on the use and misuse of punctuations (actually, it is the basis of its title):

Okay, so a panda walks into a bar, orders a plate of food. He scarfs it down, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air. "Why?" is all the astonished bartender can get out. The panda gets up, tosses a wildlife manual at him. "I'm a panda," he says. "Look it up." And with that, he's gone. The bartender flips to the relevant entry and reads. "Panda: Large black-and-white mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."

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Or, if you prefer a more violent variation of this joke, here it is on YouTube...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6bIdtoGqno

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Lastly, as promised in the header...

How to speak Panda-nese? It's as easy as one, one, two, two, three, three!

Ni ni hou hou ma ma?

Wa wa hou hou. Hsieh hsieh hsieh hsieh ni ni.