Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Did you catch out these headlines?

The basic subject-verb agreement... I have noted, so many checkers at ST, yet errors like this one crop up ("go", not "goes").

What did the pigeon want?...

...the best bottle teat? Show me a pigeon that suckles on a milk bottle and I'll show you a headline writer who thinks everyone knows that there is a brand of bottle teats called Pigeon:


Hello, there're tears (as in when you cry) and there're tears (as in when something gets ripped)...


And the weirdest headline this round is this one...

So, if you "age successfully", it should mean you look old, haggard, wizened, etc, right? If you "age unsuccessfully", it means you failed to age! You still look youthful even if you are 90 years old. Shame on you! You failed! You are required to "age successfully".

Finally, decide for yourself if this poem here describes ageing successfully or ageing unsuccessfully...

A Little Poem 

Another year has passed
And we're all a little older.
Last summer felt hotter
And winter seems much colder.

There was a time not long ago
When life was quite a blast.
Now I fully understand
About 'Living in the Past'

We used to go to weddings,
Football games and lunches.
Now we go to funeral homes
And after-funeral brunches.

We used to have hangovers,
From parties that were gay.
Now we suffer body aches
And while the night away.

We used to go out dining,
And couldn't get our fill.
Now we ask for doggie bags,
Come home and take a pill.

We used to often travel
To places near and far.
Now we get sore asses
From riding in the car.

We used to go to nightclubs
And drink a little booze.
Now we stay home at night

And watch the evening news.

That, my friend is how life is,
And now my tale is told.
So, enjoy each day and live it up...
Before you're too damned old!

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