The "certified" paper chase in Singapore

In yesterday's posting, I used the word "suitability". It triggered a memory recall -- to the time when I had to submit a "suitability certificate", along with every other applicant, to enrol in the then University of Singapore.

The year was 1972. The tumultuous days of pro-communist student activism were long gone. But a suitability certificate was still deemed a requirement. I can't even remember what was required to be declared, or for that matter, who would declare anything to incriminate himself or herself. It's like the form a tourist  fills in when entering  the United States. One question goes something like this: "Have you ever engaged in terrorist activities?" Duh.

But, to be fair, all ***holes who create the pesky forms you and I have to fill are the same everywhere. They want to know EVERYTHING. They even require you to fill in the box "Sex" (why do they need to know how many times? Isn't that what they want to know for that box?)

In 1990, I had successfully secured a scholarship from a renowned American foundation to pursue a Master's degree at the Australian National University. My application to the ANU was successful too.

Then came a form with a demand -- that I needed to produce proof I could speak and write English! I had already become a mid-management journalist by then, with not a few published commentaries on the uses and abuses of the English language. I submitted one of them -- together with a commentary of mine on regional politics. After that, no further queries about my language proficiency followed.

But coming back to certificates, these define certain moments in our lives -- from birth to death (I will include documents like the driving licence).

Birth Certificate
Immunisation Certificate (proof that you had those jabs as a baby)
Kindergarten Graduation Certificate (baby boomers like me never went to such centres... did I miss anything?)
Primary School Leaving Cerificate
Secondary school leaving certificate... in my time, it was the Senior Cambridge School Certificate (now the O Levels)
Higher School Certificate (now the A Levels)

All these, just to reach the age when the guys have to serve their country while also chasing the girls . Of course, not all of the youth will do the HSC/A Levels. There are the vocational institute certificates, polytechnic certificates, etc. The middle class kids will have acquired pieces of paper for music, horse-riding, you name it, etc.

Most of the guys have one more certificate "hurdle" to clear --  the ROD certificate, issued to show proof one has done his NS stint -- before entering the workforce or university. ROD is "run out date" (there is probably a bureaucratic reason  for this odd term but it is apt: when we get our ROD certs, we can't wait to run out of the army camp gates). I think there is now a new term, ORD (Operationally Ready Date). Not so funny now, huh?

There was, in my time, the Suitabiilty Certificate (as mentioned above).

It gets  more complicated after this, and I'll just stick with the initials if they are the familiar ones.

BA, BA (Hons), BSc, BSc (Hons), MBBS. etc
MA, MA (Hons), MSc, MSc (Hons), etc
DipEd, etc
PhD, etc
(whew!)

Medical Certificate -- this one you will collect more than a handful in your lifetime. "Don't leave the office without it," if you need to go home on a workday (for whatever reason).
Driving licence.
COE certificate -- this one is uniquely Singaporean... to buy a car. Along with it come the ARF and PARF.

Marriage Certificate. After this, with the babies coming along, it starts all over again... birth certificate, etc.

The final piece of paper? The Death Certificate, and the end of the "paper chase". Amen.