Lost in translation

Since I have already posted politically incorrect jokes (religious humour), the ones here leverage on racial or national stereotypes. Again, my apologies if any feathers are ruffled.

She's Unbearable
This first one can be "configured" for any nationality not known for fluency in English. The one I heard long ago involved a European man explaining to an American tourist why he and and his wife were childless.

My wife is impregnable.
(American is nonplussed)
I mean she is  inconceivable.
(American is still nonplussed)
What I want to say is that she is unbearable.
(American gets it and exclaims...)
"Ah, just like my wife!"


Fluctuations
I was at my bank today; there was a short line. Just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious She was a little irritated.
She asked the teller, ‘Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?’
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, ‘Fluctuations.’
The Asian lady says, ‘Fluc you white people too!”


The Irish Millionaire.
 Mick, from Dublin , appeared on   'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire,'  and towards the end of the programme,
 had already won 500,000 pounds.
"You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, "now, for a million pounds,  you've only got one life-line left to phone a friend.
Everything is riding on this question....  will you go for it?"
"Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!"
"Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?
 a) Sparrow
b) Thrush,
c) Magpie,
d) Cuckoo?"
"I haven't got a clue." said Mick,  ''so I'll use me last lifeline, and phone me friend Paddy back home in Dublin ."
 Mick called up his mate, and told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him.
 "Heck, Mick!" cried Paddy. "Dat's simple.... It's a cuckoo."
  "Are you sure?"
 "I'm totally sure."
  Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, "I'll go wit Cuckoo as me answer."
 "Is that your final answer?" asked Chris.
  "Dat it is, Sir."
 There was a long - long pause, and then the presenter screamed, "Cuckoo is the correct answer.
 "Mick. you've won 1 million pounds!!
 The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink.  "Tell me, Paddy.  How in Heaven's name did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesn't build its own nest?"
 "Sure. any e-jitt knows he lives in a clock!"


This one is local (I heard it a long, long time ago...)
Two Englishmen holidaying here walked into a kopitiam
"Two black coffees, please," said one.
Coffeeshop attendant repeats the order, "Kopi-O, noh."
"In that case, we'll have two teas, with condensed milk, please."
"Teh-see, noh."
Tourist to friend:"Let's get out, mate. They don't seem to serve hot beverages here!"