Divine humour

Today being Sunday, the collection here may be titled "divine humour". My thanks to my brother Tee Chuan for sending the items to me.

Also, I will be taking a holiday break with my wife and some family members, and hope to resume blogging again on Friday night (Dec 17).

1. A church had problems with outsiders
parking in its carpark. So it put this sign up:
CHURCH CARPARK - FOR MEMBERS ONLY.
TRESPASSERS WILL BE BAPTIZED!

2. "No God - No Peace? Know God - Know Peace."

3. "Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!"

4. "Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins."

5. "Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"

6. An ad for one Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on
which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads:
"For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."

7. When the restaurant next to a church put out a sign with big red
letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own
message: "We are open on Sundays, too."

8. "People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot water before you
know how strong they are."

9. "Fight truth decay - study the Bible daily."

10. "How will you spend eternity - Smoking or Non-smoking?"

11. "Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives"

12. "Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the
pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world."

13. "It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."

14. "Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."

15. "If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."

16. "If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again."

17. "Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal
fire insurance soon."

18. "This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" ----- (U R)

19. "In the dark? Follow the Son."

20. "Running low on faith? Step in for a fill-up."

21. "If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd."