In Singapore, believe it or not, after Singapore Idol, comes...
Actually, my beagle Brady does a pretty melodic yodel (but not Killer who "sings" off-key unless accidentally stepped on; that's when he'll belt out a falsetto yelp).
But how good a house guest is a pooch? Let's find out...
Hotel Inquiry
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation.
He wrote: "I would very much like to bring my dog along with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner: "Sir, I have been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I have never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for drunk and disorderly behaviour. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel.
And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."
Her Beloved Cuddles
A woman brought her very limp pet duck into a veterinary surgery and put it on the table. The vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet. "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room.
He returned a few minutes later with a Labrador Retriever. As the woman looked on in amazement, the dog stood on its hind legs and put its front paws on the table, then sniffed the duck's ass. It then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook its head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.
A few minutes later he returned with a cat. It jumped onto the top of the table and delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, and meowed softly. It then strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100 per cent certifiably, a dead duck." The vet turned to his computer, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
Still in shock, she took the bill. "What, $150!" she cried, "A hundred and fifty bucks just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20. But with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
[Postscript: That woman was lucky! Brady recently was sick. Apart from the vet's consultation fee, a full blood count test was done, plus the lab report. Total bill: $400-plus.]
Stuff from today's papers...
New York's mayor Bloomberg (ST, March 18)
(If you are a politician and you're now reading this, take a leaf from him.)
If a long drought hits us, that's the worry! (TODAY, March 18)
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