What did the teacher say?...
PT Teacher: You three of you, stand together separately.
Geography Teacher: Will you hang that map or else I'll hang myself.
Principal: Tomorrow call your parents, especially Mother and Father.
English Teacher: Why are you looking at the monkeys outside when I'm in the class!
What did these kiddies say?...
"Close the curtains," requested our 2-year-old granddaughter, sitting in a pool of bright light. "The sun's looking at me too hard."My friend asked our grandson when he would turn 6. He replied, "When I'm tired of being 5."Seeing her first hailstorm, Mary Sue, age 3, exclaimed, "Mommy, it's raining dumplings!"As I frantically waved away a pesky fly with a white dishtowel, my granddaughter observed, "Maybe he thinks you're surrendering."A friend's grandson, 4, was reading with his granddad about Adam and Eve. He asked, "Is this where God took out the man's brain and made a woman?"Announcing to daughter Lori that her aunt just had a baby and he looked like her uncle, she said, "You mean he has a mustache?"When I asked our grandson if he could name the capital of Florida, he fired right back, "Capital F!"While shampooing our son, 4, I noted his hair was growing so fast he'd soon need to have it cut. He replied, "Maybe we shouldn't water it so much."Impressed by her 5-year-old's vocabulary, my friend complimented the young scholar, who nonchalantly responded, "I have words in my head I haven't even used yet."When our son asked about two look-alike classmates at school, we told him they were probably twins. The next day, he came home from school all bubbly and said, "Guess what! They are not only twins....they're brothers!!"
What did this Redneck kid say (to Obama)?...
Barack Obama, at a recent rural elementary school assembly in South Carolina , asked the audience for total quiet.
Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.
Then he said into the microphone, "Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence."
Then, little Darrell, with a proud South Carolina drawl, pierced the quiet and said: "Well, mister, you just gotta stop clapping!"
Finally, what did THIS kid say?...