Saturday, June 7, 2014

More light stuff for the weekend...

This Malaysian story made the rounds earlier in the week:

Man buys penis enlarger, gets magnifying glass instead

As told, the man wanted his penis to be "enlarged" (we are not told why). He saw this online ad and fell for the scam. What made the story funny was that he received a magnifying glass, so in that sense the ad was delivering on its promise: he could "enlarge" his manhood anytime he wanted to. What made the story funnier was the attached instruction: "Do not use in sunlight."


Also spotted online was this story, with accompanying pictures:

Phrases Irish people use when being brutally honest

Hmm... so the Irish are famous (or infamous?) for being "brutally honest"?


CC sent me these "two-liners":
(actually, two of them are three-liners)

The difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.

Alcohol is a perfect solvent:
It dissolves marriages, families and careers.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well.

Archeologist: someone whose career lies in ruins.
An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have:
The older she gets, the more interested he becomes in her.

There are two kinds of people who don't say much:
those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.

They say that alcohol kills slowly.
So what? Who's in a hurry ?

Alcohol and calculus don't mix.
Never drink and derive

One nice thing about egotists:
They don't talk about other people.

There was a man who said,
"I never knew what happiness was until I got married...
and then it was too late

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.

"Loan sharks" have become a shorthand phrase here to depict the thuggish underlings of illegal money lenders. For example:

Many of them are wayward youngsters who could do with a dose of rehabilitative shaming, along the lines of the Corrective Work Order scheme for litterbugs. How about making these young "loan sharks" who had been caught by the law scrub away the "O$P$" red paint scrawls outside victims' homes -- clad only in these boxer shorts:


I found this in an old copy of Readers' Digest...

With Father's Day coming up here (June 15), I wonder what this sign means?...

This sign, however, is very clear about what grandpas are meant to be...


By the way, that story at the top of this blogpost about the penis enlarger? It's a hoax!...

'Penis enlarger' story was a joke, Michael Chong clarifies


Finally, this ST headline (June 7) raises the poser: Who turned 19; the robber or the victim?

I had to get to the seventh paragraph before I could be certain it was the robber who had turned 19 years of age. Also, old school journalists would never have allowed a silly phrase like "broad daylight" to slip past their watchful eyes.

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