Monday, July 28, 2014

A little Aussie tale (and the sting if you call a prawn a shrimp).

Colin the brave Aborigine

A rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a "barbie" and invited all of his buddies and neighbours.

He also invited Colin, the only Aborigine in the neighbourhood.

He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, "throwing another prawn on the barbie", and chatting up the Sheilas...

At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 15ft man-eating crocodile in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the balls to jump in.'

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Colin in the pool fighting the croc, jabbing the croc in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds of stuff like head butts and chokeholds, biting the croc on the tail and even flipping the croc through the air.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere..

Both Colin and the croc were screaming and raising hell! Finally Colin strangled the croc and let it float to the top like a dead goldfish.

Colin, exhausted but unscathed, then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief. The host said, 'Well, Colin, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.'

'Nah, you all right boss, I don't want it,' said Colin.

The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?'

'No thanks, mate. I don't want it,' answered Colin firmly.

The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something... That was an amazing feat. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?'

Again, Colin said "No." 

Now confused, the rich man asked, 'Well Colin, then what do you want?'

Colin said...

'I want the bloody bastard who pushed me in.'

So what's the moral of this little tale? None, except that if you are a non-Aussie (read: American), never say "Throw another shrimp in the barbie!" -- despite what "Crocodile Dundee" Paul Hogan once famously uttered in a tourism commercial:

Note: Singaporeans, like Aussies, follow the same convention on prawns and shrimps. Here's more the difference:

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