"I will grant each of you a wish," the angel declares.
The wife excitedly says, "I would like a once-in-a-lifetime vacation with my beloved husband in beautiful Hawaii".
The husband is silent for a long while. Then he confesses, "Just once, for a change, I would like to be in the arms of a woman 30 years younger."
And that is how the man finds himself in Hawaii with his wife. And he is now 90 years old.
A small argument between a couple turns violent.
Husband says: Don’t let the animal in me come out.
Wife replies: Who’s afraid of a mouse!
If Wife wants Husband’s attention, she just has to look sad and uncomfortable. If Husband wants Wife’s attention, he just has to look comfortable and happy.
Philosopher Husband says: Every Wife is a ‘Mistress’ of her Husband… “Miss” for first year and “Stress” for the rest of their lives together.
Do you remember the tingling feeling when you took the decision to get married? That was common sense leaving your body.
Son: Dad, l got selected for a role in a play for annual day!
Dad: What role are you playing?
Son: A Husband!
Dad: Stupid boy, you must ask for a role that has dialogue!
Man outside phone booth to man inside:
“Excuse me, you have been holding phone for the past 30 minutes and you haven’t spoken a word.”
Man inside phone booth: “Buddy, I am talking to my wife.”
A very intelligent married woman is asked the meaning of marriage. She says: “Sacrificing the admiration of a hundred guys, to face the criticism of one idiot.”
A husband is just like a split aircon... No matter how loud he is outdoors, he is designed to remain silent indoors!
Listening to your wife is like reading the terms and conditions of a website. You understand nothing but still click on "I AGREE".
Husband to Wife : You should learn to embrace your mistakes…
So she hugs him tightly.